


Engage

by Strangertd



Category: Glee RPF
Genre: Angst and Feels, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-20
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2019-03-07 06:27:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13428768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Strangertd/pseuds/Strangertd
Summary: Had to let my feelings out somehow.Chris's reaction to the post.





	Engage

_Fuck_

My hand is bleeding and there's a hole in my bedroom door. I've never done anything like that before in my life. I stupidly decided to check social media before going to bed early for a change. What an absolute fucking mistake.

Because here I am, sitting on the floor, clutching my bleeding hand and letting the anger-filled tears fall down my stress red cheeks. Cooper wakes up from his slumber and slinks over to me, laying his head in my lap.

I  _told_ Darren not to go through with it. I  _knew_ it was going to backfire. Mostly, I knew he couldn't handle that shit. I can't. Fake girlfriend, fine, but taking  _my_  husband and forcing him into a  _fake_ engagement is way too much- and both Darren and his team knew that.  _God_ it's like they don't care if I'm suffering, as long as Darren's career is growing.

Trust me, I want Darren to succeed. I love him more than anything but, there's a line, and it's been crossed. I glance up at the clock. Darren should be home in a half an hour. That's hardly enough time for me to calm down. I need days. Weeks even.

I pull out my phone and call Hannah to see if she's still awake. There's no answer. _Great._ I sit on the corner of the bed and turn on the tv to some inane reality show to try and calm myself. I feel like it's worked, but when I hear the front door opening below me, my heart starts to race, my hands shake, my body goes numb and I know that I've fooled myself into thinking I'm fine, when I'm not. Tears are dripping onto my favorite shirt now, wetting up Han Solo's face. I had put my trust in Darren to not go this far, and he's ruined that.

"Holy shit." I hear Darren say, and I turn to see his face through the newly made hole in the door. I'd forgotten about that. I look down to see that my shorts and the comforter have some blood on them, but I honestly don't care. 

I feel a hand touch my shoulder and I immediately jerk away. He retracts his hand and looks at me, his brows furrowed with worry.

"Chris, I'm-" 

"No, Darren! What the fuck is wrong with you!" I bolt up onto my feet. "You had a choice and you let them take it that far. I just don't- You know I can't-" My throat tightens and I suddenly find it hard to speak. Never in a million years did I think that _this_ is a conversation I'd be having with my husband. 

"Chris, I know this is hard but it's for us. You know that, right?" I huff out a laugh. For  _us_ , he says.

"You're right. It's for us. You benefiting off of something that tears me apart." I shake my head, still laughing as my voice gets louder and stronger. "This doesn't just affect me either, Darren! It affects our family, our friends, our future together. Don't you get that? What you're doing to future _your_ career, is not only hurting me and our family, but it's also hurting the hundreds of LGBT kids that look up to you. Did you even think about them? Did you even think about me!"

He's quiet. Tears are streaming down his red face, and it makes me want to wrap him in my arms and comfort him, but I can't. We need to have this conversation. He bites his lower lip and I know that he wants to say something, but he doesn't. Which, considering how I feel at the moment, is a smart choice. After a moment, I decide to keep going, this time, my voice softer.

"Dare, you know I love you. Through the good and bad times we've shared. I always will. But, you know this hurts me. Hell, last week you talked about wanting to start a family with me. That's not going to happen any time soon. This whole thing could've been over in a year or less, but then you went and did this. It's going to take longer. _Years_ , Darren. We could be in our late thirties by the time this shit ends. I love you and all Darren but, I've spent _seven_ years hiding away just to be with you. I can't wait seven more. I hate to be the bad guy but, at some point you're going to have to choose. Me or your career. You could be doing so much without them holding you back and whitewashing you and tearing you apart. You know that. I know that. Our family knows that…" 

He's crying even harder now and his face is beet red. He nods his head and takes a deep breath.

"I know Chris." He says, and his voice is raspy. "I know I fucked up and made the wrong choice. I've been losing so many fans, Cee. I know I deserve to just- just be thrown out and you deserve a better husband than me but I just- I get so lost in Hollywood sometimes that I just- I can't think straight and I feel like an asshole. Not just to you, but to the kids. I know if one of my idols did something like this to me, I'd be so so mad but I just- Chris, I can't- Fuck, I-"

He's shaking rigorously and his voice is fucked, and that's when I'm given my okay. I move forward and pull him into my arms, rubbing his back soothingly as he coils his arms around my waist and digs his face into my neck. I can feel my shirt getting wet, and god this shirt's gone through so much today that I'll probably have to wash it multiple times.

"Chris, I know you're mad at me. If you want me to sleep on the couch until you're not mad then I will." He says, his arms loosening their grip a little. I plant a soft, barely there kiss to his temple.

"No. Trust me, I'm still very mad, and I will be for a while but, you don't need to sleep on the couch. I still love you and we're going to go through this together." I say, and he lets out a large sigh, holding me tighter again. "Besides, I think we both just need to hold each other, go to sleep, and think about this some more. We still have to continue this conversation tomorrow because there's still stuff I have to say. But for now, let's just go to sleep so I can think. Deal?"

"Deal." He says and pulls away, sliding his hands down my arms to hold my hands, but he flinches back and gasps slightly. "Oh my god, you're still bleeding. Let me help you?" He asks, and I nod. I sit on the corner of the bed while he leaves to get the first aid kit and oh- yes, I definitely kept bleeding. Specifically on the floor, and also probably Darren's shirt.

Darren comes back and cleans up my hand, wrapping it in bandages. Then, while I slip off my dirty clothes and crawl into bed, he cleans up the blood from the floor. We can get the comforter tomorrow. He climbs into bed with me moments later, and wraps himself into my arms again.

I'm still mad. Beyond mad, actually. But there's no way in hell I'm going to let her win. If anything happens to Darren and I now, then that means she won the game. Darren is mine, and always will be. I'll fucking show her what true love is.


End file.
